"Não ande atrás de mim, talvez eu não saiba liderar. Não ande na minha frente, talvez eu não queira seguí-lo. Ande ao meu lado, para podermos caminhar juntos."

1) Se você tiver que vomitar pule rapidamente no sofá. Se o sofá estiver longe demais, procure um bom tapete.

2) Determine logo qual é a visita que detesta gatos, e sente no colo dela durante toda a noitada. Ela não terá coragem de empurrá-lo para o chão, e pode ser até que venha a dizer "Gatinho bonito!". Se você estiver com bafo de comida de gato, melhor ainda.

3) Para sentar no colo ou se esfregar em perna de gente usando calça comprida, escolha, de preferência, cores contrastantes com as suas.

4) Acompanhe, sempre, as visitas que vão ao banheiro. Não é necessário fazer nada. Basta sentar e ficar olhando.

5) Trate as visitas que digam “Adoro gatos!”Com total desprezo, e esteja pronto a unhar suas meias ou, eventualmente, morder seus calcanhares.

6) Não permita portas fechadas em cômodo algum. Para abrir uma porta, apóie-se nas patas traseiras e bata nela com toda força que tiver nas dianteiras. Quando a porta for finalmente aberta para você, não é necessário usá-la; você pode mudar de idéia tranqüilamente. Quando você ordenar a abertura de uma porta que dê para fora, pare exatamente no meio do caminho, entre a porta e o vão, e aproveita para pensar sobre diversas coisas. Isso é particularmente importante em noites muito frias, e em épocas de mosquitos.

7) Se uma pessoa estiver ocupada e outra à toa, fique com a ocupada. Se alguém estiver lendo, chegue bem perto, e dê um jeitinho de meter o focinho entre o livro e a cara da pessoa. Desconsidere isso em casos de leitores que abrem livros ou jornais em cima da mesa; aí, basta deitar em cima do que estiver sendo lido.

8) Se algum dia encontrar uma senhora tricotando, suba no colo dela e deite. De repente, estique a pata e, como quem não quer nada, dê um bom tranco nas agulhas. Observe os acontecimentos: isso se chama perder o fio da meada, e a senhora tentará atrair sua atenção para outras partes da casa. Ignore-a.

9) Quando encontrar alguém fazendo o dever de casa sente-se na folha de papel que estiver sendo trabalhada. Depois de ter sido removido de lá pela terceira vez, vá para outro canto da mesa e empurre tudo que se mexa: lápis cola, tesoura e o que mais houver.

10) Durma bem durante o dia para estar novo em folha, e pronto para brincadeiras entre 2 e 4 horas da manhã. Se seu humano trabalhar durante a noite, modifique seus hábitos de sono para poder estar com a corda toda entre as 10 h e o meio-dia.

Comentários em: "Regras de Etiqueta para gatos inexperientes" (28)

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